My Not So Secret Diary
Read All About It!
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My Favorites Things....
Color - Red
Food - Nouriche smoothies
Ice Cream Flavor - Vanilla
Drink - Root Beer, Strawberry Milk, and Egg Nog (but not together, please!)
Hobbies - Skating, Sports, Reading, Poetry, Video Games and plenty of other stuff
Movie - The Sound of Music, Snow Falling on Cedar Trees, Les Miserables
TV Shows - Pokemon, Gundam Wing, Inuyasha, Rurouni Kenshin, Trigun, Yu-Gi-Oh!, and other Japanese Anime
Music - Soundtrack from Anastasia, Pokemon movies, Backstreet Boys, Celine Dion, Josh Groban, Sarah Brightman, and Phantom of the Opera
Actress - Julia Roberts
Actor - Keenu Reeves
Athlete - Yuka Sato, Todd Eldredge
Sport on TV - Ice Skating
Book - One More River by Lynn Reid Banks and
- The Perilous Gard by Elizabeth Marie Pope
State - New Mexico, Colorado
Animal - Cats, Horses
At The Skating Rink
04-30-04 - I've been learning to coach for over a year and helping with group classes at the Basic Skills level. I was thrilled to get my first private student at the Basic 1 level this month. Her name is Savannah and she is 5 years old. She is making good progress.
12-20-04 - I skated a special program dedicated to my Mom at the Sertich Ice Arena's Christmas Show to the music of The Perfect Fan by the Backstreet Boys. Unfortunately Mom was too weak to attend due to her illness. We did videotape the performance and were able to share this with Mom afterwards.
01-03-06 - My skating has evolved this past year from competitive skating to mostly being a coach. I regularly train several levels of Basic Skills skaters and have had several new private students during the course of the past year.
4-12-04 - I celebrated Easter with Todd and my family. Even though we are in the midst of a move to a more practical home and have boxes laying around, we still had a lovely dinner. My parents gave Todd and me wrist watches, Mike got a shirt and Todd gave me a couple of Yu-Gi-Oh Invasion of Chaos starter boxes. Mike, Todd and I spent some time together and we enjoyed it very much. ^_^
06-15-04 - Todd broke up with me at the beginning of June after several weeks of growing very distant. He started dating somebody else less than a week later which was devastating to me. He doesn't seem to understand the meaning of unconditional love. For my part, I probably became too clingy when I started to feel his love slipping away. I am feeling very lost, hurt and depressed right now. My father, mother and brother are trying to help, but it is going to take a long time for the hurt to heal. My biggest problem is that I still love him and don't know how to let go.
08-28-04 - My dearest friend, Brooke, was able to visit us for a week before heading off to college in San Antonio, Texas. It was good to have Brooke here after the difficult emotional roller coaster ride I've been on for the last few months.
12-26-03 - A week ago a friend of mine, Frank Frey, an excellent adult dance skater, passed away. We attended his memorial service at the Northeast Bible Church and we have decided to go to the church on a regular basis. So in a way, it was a blessing that came out of a very sad event.
My family and I spent Christmas together this year, and again, it was just my parents, Michael and myself. It was a smaller Christmas this year, but I was grateful for every last gift I received and every gift that I was able to give. My best gift of all was to be able to spend some time with Todd the week before.
In terms of presents, I got a new CD player (which was desperately needed), a cool Zamboni cap, a pair of white skating boot earrings and a few other small gifts. Mom got Josh Groban's first CD, which I wish I could call my own. Dang, I wish I could sing like him.
10-15-04 - My mother woke up with a severe pain in her throat during the night of September 23rd. Dad took her to a medical clinic on the 24th and the doctor suspected thyroid cancer. After extensive testing Vicki was diagnosed as having anaplastic thyroid cancer. This form of cancer is very rare with only 200 or so cases being reported in the United States each year. Mom had surgery on October 15th to remove her thyroid glands. The surgeon could only remove the left thyroid gland, because the right thyroid gland had bonded to her vocal chords. There is no cure for this kind of cancer and the doctors are telling us that Vicki may only have 3 to 6 months to live.
11-15-04 - Mom has decided to pass on radiation therapy and chemotherapy. The doctors say that anaplastic cancer doesn't respond well to these treatments, so Mom is taking nutritional supplements with cancer fighting properties. The doctors said Mom would have to have 2 more operations for the therapy to be done including putting in a stomach tube and a port in her chest. They said you can't swallow anything when they use radiation therapy on your neck. Mom is already having trouble swallowing and she is losing 2 to 3 pounds of weight every week. We have set up a bed for Mom in the living room where the couch used to be, so that she can be at the center of all our activities. Rascal, our 2nd cat, has become Mom's guardian angel and spends as much as 12 to 16 hours a day with her.
12-30-04 - We had a beautiful Christmas, even though we were very sad about Mom's declining health. My brother Paul was able to come from Tucson to visit in November, but he wasn't able to come for Christmas. My Grandmother was able to visit at Christmas, but she became ill on the 26th and was hospitalized for 2 days. She was able to fly back to El Paso today, even though she was very weak. I hope she will be OK.
01-31-05 - Mom had never seen a Stars On Ice program and we were able to take her to see the show in Denver last week. Todd Eldredge skated immediately after the opening number and Vicki said, "I've seen Todd, we can go now." They had cotton candy, which Mom loves, and she ate every fluffy morsel of it. The show was absolutely fabulous and we loved every minute of it. We were also able to take Mom to see The Aviator and The Phanton of The Opera this past month.
02-14-05 - My mother passed away on February 8th, 2005, after a 5 month battle with cancer. Two personal friends, Brooke from Texas and John from Florida, were able to come and attend Mom's memorial service. Todd, my former boyfriend, and Mary Pat, my closest skating friend, also attended the services. My coaches and many of my skating friends were at a competition in Pueblo on February 12th and were not able to attend the services. We released a white dove at the gravesite and it decided not to fly away. Instead, it stayed to watch over Vicki from the branches of a nearby tree. My father's and my tributes to Vicki at her memorial service can be seen below:
06-01-05 - One of my mother's last wishes was that my father "not rot away in the dungeon (his office in the basement) after she passed away". So, my Dad bought Dontee's Skating Gallery out of North Dakota and will be setting up as a vendor at competitions in states like Colorado, Kansas, Minnesota, Montana, New Mexico, North Dakota, Utah and Wyoming. I'm planning to help him at several of the competitions.
01-03-06 - I moved into my own apartment with my brother, Michael at the beginning of the year. My father was been diagnosed with a cancerous bladder tumor which will be operated on in January and a serious aortic aneurism which will be operated on in February. I am praying for successful operations and his speedy recovery. I won't have easy access to the internet at the new apartment and will not be able to update this diary on a regular basis in the future.
Lisa's Tribute to Vicki Lynn Hlavacek
My mother, Vicki, always was the perfect fan of me in every way. She thought her children could truly excel in anything they set themselves to. In this tribute to my mother, I have picked out certain sections of one of my favorite songs dedicated to mothers, the Perfect Fan by the Backstreet Boys, and I will reflect upon what those lyrics mean to me as I share my most treasured memories with you all.
"It takes a lot to know what is love
It's not the big things, but the little things
That can mean enough"
One of my most treasurable memories was simply riding in the car with her to and from the ice rink. We would pop a CD into the player and listen to songs together, and we'd sometimes playfully fight over whose favorite song was to be played next. Sometimes we wouldn't play music at all, and just talk with each other about happenings at the ice rink. Yet at other times, nothing was said at all between us, and I would just enjoy the scenery passing by as Mom drove me home. Every one of these moments was equally special to me. They all shared one major thing in common; I had the blissful joy of her company.
There were many other "little things" that brought joy to my life, when I spent time with my mother. We used to show each other articles of clothing in catalogs that we liked to each other. This was how we spent our "girl-time" together. Mom would also sometimes take me on a ten-minute excursion after skating to view the better neighborhoods, and we'd admire the architectural designs together. She always enjoyed the finer things in life.
The little things such as the time we spent together in the car made a part of me more fulfilled. Indeed, the little things can "mean enough."
"Mother...I've had many years of grace
And it flatters me when I see a smile on your face"
My mother truly had a beautiful smile. It was highly infectious, and I couldn't help but smile when she was happy or bouncy. Anyone else who was privileged to see her smile was flattered, too. To have been lucky to see that smile these past 19 years is truly grace itself.
"Mom....You showed me how to love
You showed me how to care
You showed me that you would
Always be there
I wanna thank you for that time
And I'm proud to say you're mine"
My mother Vicki always did her best to be there for her children and her husband. She was human and made her mistakes, but I always understood she meant only the best for us. She sacrificed working for extra income to become a housewife, because she wanted to make sure her children were provided with the guidance that was needed in developing a healthy lifestyle. Her support helped make me stronger, and she guided me and restrained me from going down the wrong path. I'm sure anyone who has raised a teenager knows exactly how difficult a task that is! Mom was selfless in that she would sometimes take criticism far more than she should have without standing up for herself. She'd also worry herself to death about our well-being if something was amiss. She truly was a loving mother.
I have lost a precious loved one at a very young age, but I am grateful for the time I was blessed with having Vicki Lynn as my mom. There are some who haven't possessed in their lifetime all that I've shared with Mom, so I actually count my blessings when I have 19 years of memories that I can recall at anytime. Mom still lives on in my heart and will always be by my side. She was a truly wonderful person and I'm proud to call her my own mother. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else.
Mom, I miss you and you'll always be in my fondest thoughts, and you will always be dearly loved...
Frank's Tribute to Vicki Lynn Hlavacek
I want to thank all of you for coming to this service for Vicki. I'm going to add a few thoughts about Vicki as long as I am able to keep my composure. Not previously mentioned is the fact that Vicki, as a teenager, was the pianist for St. Mark's Episcopal Church in Texarkana, Texas. I was so smitten by Vicki on our first date that three days later my roommate, in exasperation, yelled at me to "Shut up already." Vicki was an enigma within a mystery to me. She was afraid of heights but loved hot air balloons. I believe their soaring towards heaven was uplifting to her. Vicki was quick to assess people on first impressions and could be stubborn as a mule, but her generous spirit and loyalty to a friend were a sight to behold.
Vicki taught me so much about faith and love in the last five months that I am completely awestruck. Upon learning that she had a terminal case of cancer with 3-6 months to live, Vicki not only accepted her fate, but also proceeded to organize her departure. In December she chose her burial plot and in January she selected her funeral home, her coffin and most of the flowers you see before you. Vicki even designed her headstone, chose the granite to be used and selected the Bible passages and hymns being used in today's service. Her bravery, acceptance and faith put all of us to shame.
We also have been showered with blessings. The memorial service for Frank Frey last year led us to attend the Northeast Bible Chapel. Their love, faith and support have been simply marvelous. We chose a surgeon, Dr. Jimmie Crow, whose forthright nature, expertise, and selfless support was a Godsend. Just yesterday I learned that Mr. Wilhem, who will carve Vicki's headstone, was coached in ice dancing by Carlo Fassi and was a classmate of Peggy Fleming's.
Above all, I was blessed by being able to care for Vicki during the past five months. Vicki loved having her neck, back and shoulders rubbed and would always tell me how much they helped. She would then apologize for being so much trouble to me. Very few husbands have had the opportunity to give their wife 150 loving backrubs in 120 days and I recommend doing so. I learned to cherish every moment with Vicki and my love for her grew with each passing day.
Vicki's last days were difficult for her. She didn't have the strength to walk across the room, and she couldn't sleep unless she was sitting up. I signed up with a hospice last Saturday and their first visit was on Tuesday. They gave Vicki a bath with her favorite bath fragrance and installed a hospital bed, so that she could safely rest in an upright position. When they were done they asked Vicki how she felt and Vicki replied, "This is wonderful." Vicki slept peacefully for the next 6 hours before leaving us behind. Vicki started out as my sweetheart and became my love and my companion. Amazingly, at the end of her life, she became my sweetheart again and I will always miss her.
03-01-04 - I've enrolled in The American School's home schooling program to complete the remainder of my Junior and Senior high school requirements. We had to drop my previous home schooling program last September, because they nearly doubled on the tuition cost. I have 6 courses left to complete and I hope to graduate within the next year or so.
Working On My Web Pages
01-25-04 - My Yu-Gi-Oh message board has reached over 4000 members and is working towards 5000. You can visit it here.
03-22-05 - My Yu-Gi-Oh message board has reached over 5000 members and is going strong. I've started a brand new message board for general anime lovers called The Sacred Arrow and Sword: Anime Message Board. You can visit it here.
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